Lonely days

Today is the day

Lonely days

I love love story’s. I can read and see them the whole time. But recently I don't feel well. It's not that I’m ill but I feel lonely after I see them. I don't know why.
but don't think, "than stop looking at them, when it gets you lonely".  It won’t get away.

My brother is happily married and will be a father soon. My other brother is in a long relationship. So how can I not See it when this is around me the whole time. Still at work it is the same. I have 2 colleagues which will marry this year.

I'm really happy for them that they find the right one that belongs to them. But I’m alone for 8 years now.
I think that this is the main reason why I feel like this.
This and that the first two boyfriends I had didn't take it serious. The second one said to me that he only wanted a girlfriend. How would you feel, when someone told you this?
It’s not that this experience made me think that every man is like this. I can see that it’s not like this on my brothers and my parents.

But sometimes, like now, I have the feeling that I never ever will find the right Person for me and get rid of this feeling. But I don’t want the first best. I want the one.
The one where I know that he is the one for a lifetime.

Yesterday was a cruel day for me. It was the baby party for my sister in law and every woman on the party are in a relationship. I was the only single there. It depressed me.

I try to cheer me up. Like, listening to happy music and dance.
Sometime it works but sometimes not. But the most times it works. Fortunately

I never told someone about my feelings…about my loneliness. Every time I say” Don’t worry, everything is all right.” But this is not the truth. I don’t want to here “the right one will come. Don’t worry” and I don’t want them to be worry so I keep quit.

It makes me feel better to write it down now. It’s like talking. :-)