Lonely days

Today is the day

Lonely days

I love love story’s. I can read and see them the whole time. But recently I don't feel well. It's not that I’m ill but I feel lonely after I see them. I don't know why.
but don't think, "than stop looking at them, when it gets you lonely".  It won’t get away.

My brother is happily married and will be a father soon. My other brother is in a long relationship. So how can I not See it when this is around me the whole time. Still at work it is the same. I have 2 colleagues which will marry this year.

I'm really happy for them that they find the right one that belongs to them. But I’m alone for 8 years now.
I think that this is the main reason why I feel like this.
This and that the first two boyfriends I had didn't take it serious. The second one said to me that he only wanted a girlfriend. How would you feel, when someone told you this?
It’s not that this experience made me think that every man is like this. I can see that it’s not like this on my brothers and my parents.

But sometimes, like now, I have the feeling that I never ever will find the right Person for me and get rid of this feeling. But I don’t want the first best. I want the one.
The one where I know that he is the one for a lifetime.

Yesterday was a cruel day for me. It was the baby party for my sister in law and every woman on the party are in a relationship. I was the only single there. It depressed me.

I try to cheer me up. Like, listening to happy music and dance.
Sometime it works but sometimes not. But the most times it works. Fortunately

I never told someone about my feelings…about my loneliness. Every time I say” Don’t worry, everything is all right.” But this is not the truth. I don’t want to here “the right one will come. Don’t worry” and I don’t want them to be worry so I keep quit.

It makes me feel better to write it down now. It’s like talking. :-)

Tolerance for Homosexual

For those who read it i want to say one think. Sry for my bad english, but i gave my best.

Recently i’m looking at the videos from Ethan and MarkE and those two made me think:  „why are there people that have somthing against people who are who they are?“ This both are Homosexual but first of all they are human.
When i see their videos i think that they are so happy and a great couple and that is what counts.
I’m so happy that you two have your family behind you and have friends which like you two the why you are.

I knew, when my cousin told us that she is a lesbian i was like “Okay, that’s fine. You remain my cousine”. She has a girlfriend now and she is very happy so I’m happy too.

It's so sad that there are people who can`t be who they are because the society don’t let them. I hope that the whole society will change their thinking on this topic.

It`s not the first time that I thought about that topic, but the first time that write it down.

I remember one time. It was when I where in my training …schooling. I were in a class full of guys. I were the only female in there. This guys where so homophobic. But the silliest argument was: “Gays are not great but lesbian are great. But only when they are hot” This is such a bullshit. This is only the fantasy from what they never get.
I hope that some of them only told it so they won’t be outsiders and don't think really like this.
I'd rather be an outsider, as sharing this thought.

You know why…

YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!

For all the people which have something against them I want to say this: “Shut the fuck up. Don’t bully them for what they are, because they are more human than you are. When you don`t want to see them than there is a really great why how you don’t need to see them…LOOK AWAY AND GO”